January | 2019 | apersonaljourney

Monthly Archives: January 2019
- To The Readers
  
  Posted at 3:03 pm by a quiet man, on January 31, 2019
  I am taking a sabbatical for awhile. I did the same on Twitter recently, Instagram is certainly pending. I just cannot write about this anymore. As much as I want to my heart hurts and the confusion in my head is beyond speakable. It has been a tough winter, and these three days of arctic blast have given me an opportunity to make final efforts that have not met the light I hoped. There have been days when I just wanted to check out altogether because the people I read here write about such lovely ideals and experiences and fantasies, all of which entice me when in the right frame of mind.
  
  I’m not in that frame of mind. I’m struggling to define my next chapter alone. I have a partner at home whom I don’t know yet, I do everything for and feel little to nothing in return. So what will be this chapter? I don’t know.
  
  The only answer I have right now is I don’t want to leave here, but I cannot stay if the inspiration, the mystique, the muse of writings can no longer be found. Oh yes, there are many of you that inspire me, don’t misinterpret, but my real, that genuine aspect of what defines love in my life – perhaps that is my chapter, to help find meaning in this stage of my life.
  
  I will occasionally post but not at the rate I have been and the topic or subject will be vastly different, perhaps more personal, a struggle of sorts … take care.
  
  Love and many enticing and embracing words to all of you …
  
  EM
  
  My last post, ‘When There In The Moment’ is my best explanation.
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  Posted in Human | 2 Comments | Tagged adjustment, break, commentary, confusion, inspiration, loss, sabbatical, time
- When There in the Moment
  
  Posted at 11:14 am by a quiet man, on January 31, 2019
  At first glance
  
  I knew immediately
  
  how could one not
  
  recognize whom we grow to love
  
  when confronted
  
  by their reality.
  
  She was looking forward,
  
  I felt safe
  
  if only, sheltered,
  
  let my hand rest on a chair
  
  nearby,
  
  we could hear one another breathe
  
  if she knew I was there.
  
  I imagined to myself,
  
  if this is real,
  
  she will know I’m here
  
  turn around
  
  smile or walk away,
  
  I let a dream happen in my mind
  
  years ago the same
  
  occurred.
  
  Yet today is
  
  was
  
  different
  
  her confidence in posture
  
  seemed unreachable
  
  seemed meant
  
  for someone else’s touch,
  
  their arms, lips, eyes,
  
  I was afraid to move.
  
  I then stepped backward,
  
  quiet,
  
  the silence was a weight
  
  I could not overcome,
  
  I felt the emotion
  
  of taking risks,
  
  of looking in one another’s eyes
  
  and knowing
  
  we could not
  
  though desperate in our passion
  
  we could.
  
  Moments later,
  
  a stroll down the cobblestone,
  
  I found a new cafe,
  
  settled in outside
  
  still she was in my mind.
  
  I took one sip of a
  
  fashionable latte,
  
  then,
  
  I looked away.
  
  ~ finding my way, a personal journey ~
  
  for Zelda with love
  
  photo – Pinterest
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  Posted in Human | 0 Comments | Tagged coffee shop, Forever, her, love, memory, nostalgic, Pinterest, romantic, time
- Slowing Memory
  
  Posted at 3:50 am by a quiet man, on January 31, 2019
  will won’t we forget
  
  an offer of time did we let
  
  love now knows regret
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  Posted in Human | 0 Comments | Tagged 45 minutes, haiku, love
- Would You Then
  
  Posted at 1:03 am by a quiet man, on January 31, 2019
  If in the quiet moonlight,
  
  we danced, our eyes,
  
  suggestive,
  
  would you if my lips
  
  did find a naked shoulder
  
  a nervous gasp …
  
  Would you then,
  
  while my hands now
  
  felt liberty
  
  the fabric that might entice
  
  a man to explore further,
  
  while you rose in my palms
  
  my lips now buried in
  
  your neck,
  
  soft to reach your passion
  
  might you as I did fingertips
  
  find your buttocks,
  
  the extension of my hand
  
  directed by a movement
  
  drawn in sequence to your own mouth
  
  insistent upon my own,
  
  tongues twirling,
  
  Would you then find your center
  
  to come alive for the beauty of such is
  
  a delicious notion
  
  while your eyes
  
  turned to the sea
  
  to allow my own waves of desire
  
  let us drift toward some
  
  long forgotten island of
  
  sweet sensuality …
  
  would you imagine while I did begin.
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  Posted in Human | 0 Comments | Tagged Desire, hot, love, Passion, poem, poetry, Sensuality, woman
- Substituting Drugs
  
  Posted at 10:47 pm by a quiet man, on January 30, 2019
  Finding that balance
  
  a combination
  
  what’s right for the mind,
  
  the music,
  
  atmosphere,
  
  has to be a reason
  
  to wonder,
  
  or is it wander
  
  where do we want to go,
  
  a little flute music
  
  can take a crying man
  
  quite a distant
  
  before he might be found
  
  listening to
  
  ‘spa tribe’ with no idea
  
  why, just
  
  some way he feels,
  
  he might,
  
  he could
  
  he wants to and yet
  
  deep inside the reservoir
  
  once fed his ego
  
  a barren landscape
  
  no longer is there the bounty
  
  of love and compassion,
  
  his oxygen,
  
  a being,
  
  instead she is near,
  
  he can feel her and he knows,
  
  and yet
  
  that’s the hurting moment,
  
  for it seems likely
  
  seems forever
  
  tonight,
  
  that hypothermia
  
  might be his
  
  greatest achievement.
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  Posted in Human | 0 Comments | Tagged action, desperation, Forever, hope, love, pain, poetry, reason, romantic, words
- Much To Say Little Reason
  
  Posted at 8:55 pm by a quiet man, on January 30, 2019
  I feel I’d like to explode
  
  the words will pour
  
  feelings will bury the mind
  
  in contemplative scrutiny,
  
  the lunacy of the ludicrous
  
  nature of acceptance
  
  within the perfect structure
  
  that is reason to disagree.
  
  Yet I am alone with this fear,
  
  this tension, this concern,
  
  a need to vent,
  
  remember getting your feelings out,
  
  feel better after a good cry,
  
  a good cleansing wrenching of our
  
  internal demons,
  
  or wait,
  
  wait a second,
  
  I’m almost done,
  
  just one second please,
  
  and I will finish that which
  
  I began,
  
  or perhaps
  
  chose to not even getting started.
  
  Right now, struggling with reason!
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  Posted in Human | 0 Comments | Tagged Desire, fear, love, poem, poetry, questions, reason, thoughts, wordpress
- Speaking to Silence
  
  Posted at 8:03 am by a quiet man, on January 30, 2019
  choose words that would
  
  convey meaning
  
  in eyes when together.
  
  questions arise
  
  only in the mind
  
  how to say.
  
  did this accentuate
  
  shattered fragments
  
  that remain in a heart
  
  might a word possibly
  
  speak to misery
  
  enough for a reader
  
  to wonder why
  
  she hears a cry
  
  each morning try
  
  today though she knows just where
  
  yet wanders outside into the cold
  
  knowing still … will he always try.
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  Posted in Human | 0 Comments | Tagged beauty, cold, Forever, love, poetry, sweet, time
- When Found
  
  Posted at 11:04 pm by a quiet man, on January 29, 2019
  When found,
  
  I have felt your presence
  
  an already gasp,
  
  swift temptation is mystique
  
  inside her
  
  is a melodrama meant to
  
  design man’s meaning.
  
  Mix night sky with
  
  a soft response in her touch
  
  his need to explore
  
  she is sensuality
  
  in the midnight
  
  reckoning
  
  of man’s desire
  
  woman’s intrigue
  
  a soul already found
  
  whether lust or need
  
  my heart aches
  
  to be found sweeping
  
  hands across
  
  woman
  
  in all of her elegance.
  
  I would if I could might
  
  witness the beauty
  
  inside your quiet
  
  release,
  
  center is alive
  
  such is a need
  
  to find
  
  sensuality beyond
  
  our own silent
  
  insecurity
  
  Oh, there are these lines
  
  I wish to do
  
  with you
  
  forever
  
  in a midnight sky
  
  ~ finding my way, a personal journey ~
  
  picture found on Pinterest
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  Posted in Human | 0 Comments | Tagged Desire, Erotic, instagram, Passion, Pinterest, poem, poetry
- A Picture of Love
  
  Posted at 2:37 pm by a quiet man, on January 29, 2019
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  Posted in Human | 0 Comments | Tagged beauty, Forever, love, time
- The Wonder of Time
  
  Posted at 2:16 pm by a quiet man, on January 29, 2019
  If I might in the quiet of my silent memory
  
  imagine a kiss, soft, a velvet touch
  
  a naked shoulder,
  
  fingertips that would play upon welcome
  
  sweet response, asking my hands
  
  to stay there forever.
  
  If I might remember just when
  
  a time we could laugh,
  
  with such unbridled release of our
  
  own inhibitions,
  
  we did,
  
  we traveled far, quickly,
  
  it was love,
  
  a passion that did define my soul.
  
  If I might, if I could,
  
  if everything that began
  
  might revisit, remain, return
  
  in some manner
  
  to allow me to realize
  
  this was real
  
  without leaving me wandering
  
  alone
  
  in a wonder of disbelief.
  
  If I could, might I sweet always dream.
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  Posted in Human | 0 Comments | Tagged fantasy, love, poem, poetry, real, tears, time, touch
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