I really do. I cannot help but think of just how pressing my dependence is on a wonderful experience my life has endured. I chose this path on my own, and now I am having a lot of difficulty handling it. A couple of weeks ago, I thought of a vacation I was going on, and knew I would be visiting the Grand Canyon. I thought about stepping off a ledge. Today, we visited the canyon, and I realized just how selfish and horrific my decision would be. I knew already going in I wasn’t going to do anything rash. In fact about a week ago I realized how important my life really is today. I also imagined how the smiles and laughter of all the tourists would turn into confusion and rage at the thought of someone taking their own life.
I think suicide is a real concept in people’s lives and I do believe people have to experience some aspect of a psychosis to pull off such an act. I believe that most people would feel better if they handled their abandonment better than I have in recent weeks. Now today I am faced with again going it alone. I wonder every day, every minute of the day what damage I have done to a person I love very much. Truth be told she is the reason I am sitting here writing these words, because her love, or that fantasy we once lived remains my strength.
I just cannot stay away, for I do surely believe in fate, more specifically than ever before.
Drop The Guilt and Humanize
Secrets, Betrayal, Erotica, & Love, combined are the pieces of me
Writing & Image
... I mean Freudian.
Book Reviews and Writing Tips
The Mystery, Motivation and Mastery of Life
we are fish that play in a sea of light
Let your soul burn a flame in this world. Be damned to make a difference. ~ Jenna Noel~
"...Then you stand still and I'll show you me like you never knew." I love to lose myself in words and hope that someone else will discover those words and in a way discover me, the me I keep hidden from the world. (Oh yeah, the first part of that is a song lyric from my favorite songwriter/musician. Crediting him would probably give away my identity.
"If through delight in the beauty of these things men assumed them to be gods, let them know how much better than these is their Lord, for the author of beauty created them" Wisdom of Solomon 13:3
Your Daily Spanking
Seattle Fashion & Lifestyle Blog By Rachna
A Journey Through My Mystical Mind
Curving back within myself I create again and again.
A collection of beautiful thoughts, pictures and information
A blog of my struggles with mental illness, social isolation and being transgender n a hostile world.
I read, I write, I sketch. For fun.