This is who I am
nothing more
I stood on a hill when I was 12
prayed that God save my life
Decades later the answers
the confidence
some semblance of understanding
still evades me.
I put myself out there
give the world my eyes,
my feelings, my desires, my …
wishes all neatly packaged
for anyone to play,.
And they do,
they play me like a bad violin,
over and over and over
until I cannot breathe
any more
no more
not worth it
any more.
I’d rather be you,
without a conscience,
I’d rather be them,
without any
purpose,
beyond the bullshit
of their lives,
surface level promises,
no depth.
God help us all,
a deeper context
will kill us all..
