apersonaljourney – stories of love

I look around the room

and see the set of a

Carly Simon song,

except

my dad is missing in the corner,

cigarette long extinguished,

(actually my mom was there)

and yet I can’t help thinking,

is this the life I chose,

everything well manicured,

enough to have the neighbors

or our cousins,

or maybe siblings over for dinner.

The yard work, seems so real,

all the edges pruned,

the landscape accentuates the flowerbeds,

the trees are naturally,

‘blowin’ in the wind’

so this world

this economy

this facade

all seems right

in the eyes of the beholder.

My shutters are pulled today,

I can see a sunny afternoon trying to peek through,

yet, I know on the other side,

there are empty bird-feeders,

their image

will be a reminder,

of the blank stairs in my life.

I’m forgetting how to walk,

so sedentary

on a beautiful summer day,

there are needs,

there are desires,

there is a dog asleep at my foot,

she is quite settling I must admit.

My life,

sitting down

trying  to make sense of it all,

tying to in the quiet

fill this vacancy

I know is there,

the eyes,

the separation of society,

I know the only people really looking

are those I’ll never see again,

when the ones I want

so close,

so nearby,

may only be found in

pleasant summer nights,

dreams,

the travel of my psyche

when at the end of an evening,

my body,

such physicality

won’t allow me to remain,

just sitting,

thinking,

wandering in my mind,

wishing,

I might have some idyllic life

waiting

beyond the shadowed

contemporary layout

of this

my

unsettling …

© Scott F Savage 2019