NSFW – Adults Only Please – My goal with this page constantly evolves – there was a time when all I wanted was to pique a woman's interest in the hope we connect through writing, dialogue … today, with all of the wonderful inspiration I've received, my need is to further my respect and intrigue in the sensual nature of 'woman' in all of her grace and elegance. I do hope you might enjoy!

a commentary

Scrutiny -revised-


It’s when our lives in truth become a show,
We value love, under a moon’s beget
For isn’t truth in how her eyes do glow
A fine recall of what we now regret.
I wrote you notes, turned letters from afar.
Imagined gravel roads your steps would fall
Upon the sliding summer day a star
Could always light our way sweet road recall
To know the stars could still for us align
Bring hope alive inside my scrutiny.
For now today in love I might malign
My precious world could bring me to my knee.
To know her elegance I wish afford.
Such world I’m told where love is man’s reward.


Without Pause


I have watched my life become what it is today,

so many opportunities, chances I might say,

helped me to define who I am

in a natural sort of epic slam.

~

We are forever drawn by shadows of opportunity

the sort will stand nearby, play with sanity,

while others simply do proceed,

we need fruition to succeed.

~

I wonder about the people that already know

we see their quiet exterior where we go

wish to be their silent muse

gather evidence enough to amuse.

~

If I go back I am afraid of what it is I have said,

more than thirty years ago when wasted

I would suggest some liberty

might today soften scrutiny.

~

I suppose it is my own natural heart believes

the tall tales of unbridled fiction it weaves

remain steadfast and indeed proud

no self-pity will be allowed.

~

I do give pause to the life I have somehow led

leaves me here inside a wound readily bled

I wish for only peace of mind,

I wonder though if I might rewind.

~

The turbulent nature of fitting in, finding solace

broken by the battering of a solution driven chase


Protected: Dark Shadows – Self Harm: A Sobering Reality


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On Writing – A vent of appreciation …


Vent – a hole or space that allows air, gas, or smoke to escape or fresh air to enter

Perhaps I didn’t need to qualify, but, I suppose I just want to be clear. I have been writing this blog for a little over a year and a few months, and during that time, have unwittingly discovered many things about myself along the way. For one, the actions I take on these pages, really are no different than the ones I practice in my daily life. Granted, I have more freedom here, but the luxury of being able to explore my internal identity has been nothing short of fascinating.

I began this blog because a mutual writer of erotica suggested I do so. Who would know this process has improved my personal life to no end, yet, at the same time, continues to fascinate me with the avenues the writing, the interactions allow me to experience. I am grateful to the handful of people I interact with on a regular basis. All of you, and you know who you are have given me support when I wished to rip my hair out, felt I had revealed too much, and simply needed to be calmed down with a dose of reality. I thank you, each of you for leaving judgment aside and letting our growth help one another along.

To be sure, this site has enhanced my writing, there is no question, the last fifteen months have been spectacular in giving me the confidence to pursue my goals as a writer. For many years I imagined the possibility of writing erotica and I always put the benefits before the words. Today, as I write this passage, I am happy the words have taken the lead, and my efforts really are toward honing my skills as a writer. That said, the benefits remain delicious, yet, not nearly as rampant or constant as some of you might perceive. If that offers a lovely solace to your day though, I am happy.

I have written about a great number of topics here, mostly erotica, but ventured in several directions. I have been received well, and have confidence that people do, who take the time, know my genuine offerings as a writer and reader and human being. I am a blogger certainly, but my goal is to enhance my writing and along the way, turn anyone on that desires to join the ride, shall we say.

In the very near future, my schedule changes dramatically, and somehow I will have to ‘curb the enthusiasm’ (hah) of this genre so provocative and evident to my daily life. As I live and breathe, I am compelled to find the words. I wish everyone well, and thank you for listening. Write, delight, and read on …

Musings

P.S. I am inspired to do this as I have noticed many recent similar writings on other pages – must be the time of year! 🙂


Marriage and Boundaries – Chapter 10 – Full Disclosure


A couple of weeks ago, I wrote my first installment to this series since beginning in the summer of last year. A couple of weeks ago, I was very upset on many levels, and rather than think about what i was saying I just unloaded in my 8th installment. Sometimes that is where the truth does come out and I guess that did happen. Yet I want everyone to know that if there was anything perceived as offensive or personally directed that I am deeply sorry, that was not my intent at all.

I have quite loved these pages, but realized tonight that the ‘marriage and boundaries’ series needs its own place and ought not be mixed with my poetry. I did not realize this alone. As I have said many times, I have met wonderful people here, that have been honest with me, and given me constructive criticism when it was certainly needed. And tonight has been one of those nights. In reaching out to a couple of people I received reassurances. In one conversation I was able to read truths.

So, to return to Chapter 8 I wrote it in an angry and resentful state of mind, and may have lost some readers because I spoke of truths that I have discovered while becoming a part of this WordPress community. However, in speaking those words, I meant no personal affront toward anyone in these pages. I was not trying to out anyone, more simply speaking of my own frustrations with my marriage, and rather than speaking of the lovely resource this blog has been for helping my marriage, instead made it sound like people were willing to interfere with my marriage and that made me happy. That is the furthest from the truth. If anything at all, the people I have met here have shared real experiences, with a svelte pen, and have given me strength to face my own needs in my own home. I have sought out every playful moment that has occurred and they have all been my own responsibility.

I began this blog because I wanted a safe place to write sensual words, because there were so many beautiful women writing wonderful stories and poems. I wanted to join, and share my own thoughts. I would be a liar if any single or married woman had offered themselves to me in dialogue, there is no way I would turn that down. That was certainly a novelty. I would get carried away, and if any one woman suggested I pull back I would immediately do so. But please, do not think any of you are responsible for any of the struggles I have in my marriage. Those are my own dealings, and fortunately this has been a wonderful outlet for finding resource to help fix things.

Obviously I am not a saint, and as I write erotica, I believe in the beauty of a woman’s sensuality. To be able to create words that make women feel special, to enhance fantasy, to allow anyone at all to imagine themselves in a different place if only for a few moments, well, that to me is a beautiful thing, and I am ever so grateful for those of you that have joined that journey.

In closing I do not wish for pain or suffering on anyone here, in fact, I only want to be there for people. Yes, I am a man who acts out his sexual fantasies, I will not try to pretend otherwise, but at the same time, I am honored and flattered to have made the connections here with people I have. I will always be honest with everyone I encounter here, and if anyone feels otherwise, then for that I am deserving of your wrath and will own it.

In the meantime, this final installment will stay up for all eyes, and eventually find its own ‘password’ safe category on my blog, and I will stick to the business of writing erotica, a practice I have seriously fallen in love with this past year, because all of you have expressed a wonderful reception to my words. You have all together single-handedly moved me in a forward and positive direction with my writing, and I am truly beside myself with all of your kindness, your directness, and your understanding.

For now, good night moon.


What Drives my Libido?


What is it inspires sexual passion? Is it just simply that I like sex? I don’t think it is. I think there is a far deeper rooting going on. Many would argue about now – family of origin bullshit, and I suppose it cannot be too far off. I was the youngest of a bunch of siblings, with a tired couple of parents who partied their asses off during their time, so genetically I guess I was predisposed. But, now today, I wonder sometimes why it is I am constantly drawn to a beautiful woman, a person who simply eschews elegance, a delight that only walks into a room, and has me literally swooning at the sheer sensuality she brings with her.

I’m a guy, so that physicality is a huge piece of my attraction, but I have to say, I have been far more turned on by some of the conversations I have had with the women I have met here, once they tolerated my constant come-ons and got down to the business of actually sharing intelligent dialogue. I am easily attracted to a person that shares like interests, thus, my partner and I have been together for nearly three decades, and we do like a lot of the same things. There are some ideals though, we don’t share, and so my mind wants to stray, like any self-righteous male would attest.

On this site, I post a lot of erotica. This started out as an experiment, but this venue of writing has been something I have wanted to do, but had never found the correct discretionary tools by which to do so. I can happily say tonight, I am able to really pour out my soul with the frivolity of my sexual fantasies, and the reception has been nothing short of delightful. Yet, it brings me back to my original question. What is it that drives my libido? Since I have been writing here I have experienced countless catharses, from the early notion of playing with the attraction of seducing women online, to now today, continuing to explore what it is that I desire from ‘woman’ as she is defined in my life.

I am truly drawn to sensuality. I am completely swooned by eyes, by legs, by a woman who comfortably allows herself to be sexually provocative in public. Yet, I struggle to find that common ground with what is generally a universal mindset and what is my own mindset in comparison. I know I am a compulsive person – just search ‘addiction’ and you will recognize my history – but I am convinced that my motivations here are to please and not to simply take.

I used to take, and wanted to take, well, quite frankly there are so many beautiful writers here it is difficult to not be tempted. ( I am still a male as I write this ). Yet, tonight as I write this, I am using my blog to explore some real thoughts, and welcome any feedback, ideas, or notions, or …

Ah, libido, we all should take the time to touch upon our own desires, right?


Daddy


daddy

“Daddy, I need you.”

So enticing, so delicious. But today, I’m speaking of ‘daddy’ usage in a different venue. What is it about this word ‘daddy’ that bugs me so much when it is used in circles of sexual proclivity. I hear it so often and certainly would by lying if I said I didn’t want to be referred to that as well, if it means me getting underneath the dress of a beautiful woman; however I can honestly say, the term has never been spoken to me in hushed gasps in the throes of having sex, or making love. Yet, I hear it used so often in the D/s counter-culture, in the readings certainly here in these blogs, and the occasional reference in Craigslist or other back-page advertisements of sexual need, deviant desire, hidden secrecies of erotic pursuits.

‘Daddy’

‘I’m looking for my daddy’

‘young submissive delight needs her daddy’

Certainly the references will go on and on, and everyone is generally familiar with their context. For me, it raises the question of whether or not this feeds the denigration and view of women in our society today? I have read enough accounts of the D/s subculture to leave me quite intrigued and wanton of the opportunity to explore the lifestyle, the beautiful outcomes, the essence of delightfully submissive passion created through masterful desires and exploration is enough to make anyone curious, if not jealous of those that have embraced the lifestyle wholly without reservation. That said, I wonder though if everyone gets it, and if those that don’t lend to a more severely repressive and dangerous precedent toward the image of ‘woman’ in our society today. Certainly there can also be argument toward the reversal of gender roles in the practice as well.

To the outsider, that’s me unfortunately, I am worried about the term as it applies to women in our society. I love the idea of a woman getting down on her knees at my command, and exploring my sexual need with all the passion of an erotic goddess, but I worry about the men in our society that take advantage of the term and rather than recognize a woman for her sheer elegance, instead let the term permeate their already skewed objectivity of females in our society. I have tried to wrap my head around this since beginning blogging under this pseudonym, and I would be delighted to continue a dialogue on the subject.

In the end, I truly love women in all of their beauty, desire, compassion and sexual fire. There is nothing more attractive to me than the sight of a woman in the throes of a climax, whether I am observing or have the delightful opportunity to help provide that needed  level of stimulation toward orgasmic pleasure. Nothing comes close. I just wonder, and with respectful curiosity, pose the question to my community of bloggers.

Happy New Year to everyone. Be safe and positive with your energy as you close the door on simply, another day!