NSFW – Adults Only Please – My goal with this page constantly evolves – there was a time when all I wanted was to pique a woman's interest in the hope we connect through writing, dialogue … today, with all of the wonderful inspiration I've received, my need is to further my respect and intrigue in the sensual nature of 'woman' in all of her grace and elegance. I do hope you might enjoy!

Depression

Deceptive Isolation


Have you ever really looked,

studied expression beyond a comment,

the quiet afterward,

if you could be inside that bubble,

how soon would despondency return.

 

I’m asking a question,

I already know the answer,

because it always returns,

despite my effort to want to move forward,

it’s the questions, the unknown,

the desire to feel wanted,

and then everything goes to hell.

 

Have you ever wondered if a person’s frame of mind,

is solely built upon interaction,

what if you put them in the words,

with an assurance of human isolation,

how long would they last before they decided,

nature might be the best solution.

 

Next time you wonder,

take a moment,

realize your impact is far greater,

than you might quietly ever imagine,

in the space of your own reasoning.


Here As I Am


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I do ponder the many faces,

oh so many hours of time,

lost on the need to recognize,

a desire to know more,

and yet,

for the moment,

just this,

these eyes, maybe a smile,

certainly the extent of a hot summer day,

coffee, laptop and a little music,

and am I a part of today’s society?

 

Have I met the standard of approval,

a person may suggest to themselves in private,

while whisking away their latte,

perhaps a chi tea, or the coffee of the day.

 

We’re all here

imagining only that which we are,

in the manner of a moment capable

of grasping, while all around us,

the life of others seems to replicate the same.

 

At least the coffee is fresh,

beyond the ideals turned stale.

We might just sit here every day,

same chair, same glance through windows,

perhaps never to be noticed again,

at least so the mind seems to say.


Writing to Fill an Empty Heart


I struggle with words,

they seem to carry on a certain storyline,

one I can never really grasp,

until the print allows my eyes to remember,

the swimming in motion ends

when it becomes the right time to let go.

 

I’d like to find the imagery in pain,

is it the steel edge cutting into a red ribbon,

where eyes might watch the soul slip away

in steady stream

no more hesitation,

a quiet, soothing, not so eternal release.

 

A friend of mine once said to me,

it is true we live our lives a very short time,

so in that span of countless hours,

we might remember love,

for it is that spiritual energy allows our smile,

if only for a brief instant,

to give us hope, a meaning and reason to survive.

 

I know that sometimes words might convey meaning,

but if it isn’t felt then they do become

only a semantic journey filled with imagery and pause.


A Wish to Disappear


Oh it’s true, not simply a mockery

we often appear to be more cagey

 

I’ve carried the wounds of childhood,

in order to find comfort in that I would.

 

This life I lead is sometimes a travesty

I hurt people to benefit me, simplicity.

 

A long time ago, she seemed to agree

yet still today I haven’t a place to be.

 

I live in a bubble some might decide

if pierced life would surely need subside.

 

Yet, somehow I maintain an integrity

one that surely lives on in subtlety.

 

She is the maker of my dreams I swoon

though it is me shatters imagery too soon.

 

I wonder about this state of mind tonight

is it really all that matters or that might.

 

I can feel my body is resolute with despair

I cannot move from this place to there.

 

I wish that I could feel a sense of response

to rather know the pain than cause a ponce

 

I’m a quiet man inside my lonely mind

there’s far too much memory to remind.

 

I hope that time might heal the pain I cause

for as much as time for me does give pause.

 

I love to know that my life here does exist

for the need to disappear I then might resist.


In Such A Low


my mother would reference this place,

a sort of mental ravine,

her heart might nearly stop,

eyes would glaze?

blood flow in her feigns might suddenly,

spill into one pool of spun lethargy.

This was not a place

she liked to be,

she’d often howl at the nature

of love and all it’s failings.

 

yet, she never discovered a solution?

only knew when inside?

not a lesser degree of pain

could ever exist.

 

where my mother was always never to pull the plug,

I might decide otherwise,

though my freedom would be sought?

there leaves a ring of memory,

clinging to everyone’s personal psyche.


Settle In


For now is this brief telling

of a society, a world, a small neighborhood,

this is the story

of you, and me, and the neighbors,

the kid running the sidewalk

free.

We are going another direction

tonight, to a time, or maybe a familiar

reason to act this way,

let’s all pile in,

and witness the same over there.

 

For the have that you speak of need,

might lessen the burden for a not,

it depends,

if little houses seem the pattern,

then certain marble castles,

with gigantic columns

would suffice

only in a dream.

 

I’m talking about hair nets and fry cooks,

a lavender sport coat in the rain,

a polished makeover that let’s another

in their moment of truth, complain.

It is easily recognized in the car

she drives, for when he once did,

she became less incredulous

knowing

she could always do the same.

 

Let’s remember when,

our childhood brought us to a field,

where we play for hours, just with the

tall grass and sweet rains that

gave our hearts a reason to breathe.

For that’s when,

everything else,

all the crying would end,

and a body alone,

could settle in to experience peace,

in the quiet rain.


I Wish I Knew


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I wish I knew how to love you without fear,

beyond the illusion of my own security,

I wish I might, could, I wish perhaps,

understand the motive behind my own

insecure,

unraveling,

without merit

controlling personality disorder.

 

That is what it becomes when love begins to interfere

with the logic of time,

the illicit nature of human condition finding rhyme

in the imbalance of a disastrous state of mind.

Look beyond the sheltered ego,

and know the caverns of disingenuous filtered response,

will only return with echoes

rather than the hopeful absolute of love.

 

If while I could watch a sunrise, I might know exactly where you are,

then perhaps the colors, the hue, the miracle

of life’s natural beauty,

would compel me to let you be the person you need,

rather than tossing demands with selfish motive,

to distract your world and seek my own recline.

 

I talk a good talk, she mentioned to me one day,

when after the tears, beyond the frightened stares,

he would acknowledge his less compelling confidence

in knowing she is worthy of far greater care,

than he could ever provide given his sense of

necessary worthiness.

 

We all walk through walls, sometimes with unnatural ease,

solid concrete that would stop stone boulders,

suddenly an avenue of solace

allows the mind to carve beyond the mortar,

to seek another place,

the other side of pain.

 

If I could redesign my day,

if suddenly I was given a chance to wake from nightmares,

and start again,

to love again,

to appreciate in words the beauty of you,

if then,

If I might take a walk while the sun is setting,

I would ask the reward of forgiveness,

I might listen rather than plead,

stop begging and give allowance,

recognize the sacred nature of respect,

only now is my enlightened world suggesting

this apology is for you.