apersonaljourney – stories of love

She is a spirit

with all her beauty

and repose.

I could imagine her

and find a peace,

a silent memory

gives me relief.

That once in our lives,

did we know love,

not simply a trifle

a deep consciousness.

Her’s is a wonderful

mystique,

drawn by eyes

that search a soul,

trying to define

what in a momnt

suggests her elegance.

For she is that sweet

felony of the heart,

always aware,

forever finding

a chance encounter,

a reason to live.

Seems I can’t figure out

how to get out of here,

always fall back in,

always let my state of mind,

feel the pain of wonder,

forever caught up in a wander

of my heart and soul.

I remember one afternoon,

I held her close,

she smiled in my eyes,

I held her closer.

Didn’t want to let go,

just stay there forever.

Now I just want to get out of here,

this place I remain in,

everything cycles around,

remember the same,

holding onto what is familiar,

always shaking off change.

I’ll always be searching I guess,

finding some way to feel new.

Used to be a nightmare,

to be alone,

inside my head

my thoughts going everywhere.

I would sit in silence,

staring at my walls,

wondering just when

the turmoil in my head

would escape,

leave me alone.

But its mystery

has been with me

since a child

standing at the top

of my hill

with the gravely path.

I’ve always reflected

seems the same place

in my mind,

forever drawn by

a question,

not always a reality,

often just a fantasy.

For now I have my favorite chair.

Seems I write the same things,

just a different way to catch a phrase,

trying to piece together,

some frame of mind,

explains a quiet heart.

I want you to know everything,

rolls through my mind,

a constant flow

of detached energy

all trying to find home,

give reason to this tome.

I wrote you a letter, again,

same as the last one,

it always says the same,

always crying for your love,

unable to withstand the waiting,

always knowing,

forever wondering,

where does my heart lay,

when writing a love song.

See I knew this girl,

she caught my eye,

we danced in moonlight

she made me cry.

But that was ok too,

because we were in love,

we knew the consequence,

we never withdrew.

Then the day came,

to story changed

the winds would speak

to an evolving time.

We no longer

knew each other,

no longer chased a dream,

felt blindsided by our hearts.

I wonder what love is,

seem to know sometime

and then I forget

or life makes me no longer

think about

those beautiful moments

when love seemed real.

I was writing her a letter,

held all my words together.

I wanted her to smile,

to know I was servile.

I was wishing for more

always wanting to show her.

But I lost my way,

like any other day.

I haven’t found

a solution so profound

to give me peace

with this quiet releasse.

A wish to enhance

how really to chance

our lives are mixed in

with this fear within.

I wanted to cry

I’ll always ask why.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately

the what ifs that bug me,

a constant burden

asking me for answers.

I sit alone

letting my thoughts drift by

and she always returns

quiet memory.

I wish I knew happiness

a consistent feeling

rather than the unraveling

always knocking on my door.

In being reflective

I cannot ascertain

whether its a good thing

or bad judgment on my part.

In being reflective

I’ve chosen only motive.

All this pain

the constant barrage

of mindless thought,

without any solution.

My head hurts

to think about anything,

everything is driven

by what people tell me.

But what if I

don’t agree

what happens when a dream

becomes a burden.

My head hurts

to imagine the wheels

of contempt I keep

rolling in my mind.

I don’t have a solution,

only a lost perception

I was walking alone,

when suddenly memory took over,

I was holding her hand

the day before me was wonderful.

Seems easy at times,

to understand those moments

when our heart

intermingles with time.

~

I was walking alone,

when by nature of hoping

I recalled a pleasantry

we shared near the end.

Looking all around

noticing everything the same,

life seemed to express

a need to revisit

the nature of love

the nature of time.

~

I was walking alone,

when struck by her image

I imagined again,

beauty before my eyes.

Glancing to each side,

I revisited again,

the nature of elegance,

holding her in my arms.

~

I was walking alone,

and I cried in the twilight.

I feel you

in my bones

at night

when trying to sleep.

I imagine you

your soft elegance.

Regal in my eyes,

your eloquent verse.

I can see you

standing in the light,

being you

all graceful and serene.

The night sky

accentuates your being,

your mystique

radiates my mind.

I can see you

standing there

all alone.

I want to touch your hand.