I have grown to be cynical
well beyond a childhood prank,
a good friend, close friend indeed
those formative years, we did
examine the culture of our lives,
high school rebellious
intimidating lies,
only trying to survive,
and yet,
what future would we,
could we possibly imagine,
beyond the luxury
in eschewing a cynic.
When I think about today,
I am a small man,
in a small world,
with stifled ideas
of who I am,
and when I reflect upon
the other days
of my life
decades of trial and error,
I wonder where is the growth
people say
occurs when we haven’t always
found our way.
I sometimes look at the life of others
the glamour and success,
seeming altered universe
beyond the who or where or why
that I
would rather imagine to be my
eye.
For it is that measure
of how we could
coincide
with the triviality of being
human
as an excuse rather than
an impediment
upon our lives.
Oh to know it is where I began
is a case of autumn
in its impact on my day,
for the lasting memory
of where I might have been
is now knocking
with an ever so haunting
rhythm
takes me through my hours
wishing only that
she
might join me in my
questions, my fears,
my insecurities
toward
knowing the partial
evolution toward
wanting to
‘be’
© Scott F Savage 7/2020
the ‘b’ series
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