NSFW – Adults Only Please – My goal with this page constantly evolves – there was a time when all I wanted was to pique a woman's interest in the hope we connect through writing, dialogue … today, with all of the wonderful inspiration I've received, my need is to further my respect and intrigue in the sensual nature of 'woman' in all of her grace and elegance. I do hope you might enjoy!

Posts tagged “depression

A Silent Reckoning


Absolute stillness, a quiet,

has its own foreboding feel,

footsteps of an animal,

ever soft, nearby,

curious,

eyes will look, though concern,

only for affection.

 

Back to silence,

ticking in the distance,

soft notification,

an eternal reminder

how quickly august has arrived.

A person might smell the fear,

the unknown,

a wonder of purpose.

 

If there were a music,

to bring me somewhere,

I would choose its tantric

melody

to hide this anxiety,

though it is the will of the mind,

a trapping of this questionable

sanity.

 

Is it all artificial,

this world we live in,

everything man-made

without suggestion

of miracle,

divine intervention,

a thorough timeliness,

to a clear definition.

 

I wonder out loud,

a heavy gasp,

air traffic overhead,

I realize now just why,

sitting in the comfort of my home,

the restlessness does continue,

without offering a solution,

only further reason to …

sigh.


Feeling Isolation


It is sometimes not a choice,

this element of a stationary hold

on moving forward.

A desire, a passion, a sense of drive,

suddenly sedentary,

asking for little in return,

yet the payoff is frightening.

 

While standing in the middle of a storm,

sometimes wishing to be caught,

whisked away like a piece of dust,

no longer apparent,

just a brief tug on someone’s imagination,

maybe nostalgic,

a sweet reminder

of a different time.

 

How often is it they never really knew,

the leftovers,

a salad with every favorite spice,

and yet

the element of taste

is its final departure.

 

When long ago,

I first gained consciousness,

I remember this immediate sadness,

I cried for many hours,

holding on to a memory,

a lasting storyline

that after awhile,

rather soon really,

it bored my closest allies,

or so they seemed,

and I had to let it go,

yet we all know love always returns.

 

I suppose if I let the notes continue to

dance upon the keyboard,

I might suddenly realize,

perhaps soon enough,

or maybe …

there is a purpose in feeling,

in responding to the emotional drain,

in gathering strength,

in overcoming.

See this is the apparent flaw,

that part that only wishes to dull the pain.

Where is that urgency

to step up the dopamine.


When Shock Numbs the Soul


It is a relief,

a quiet release of air,

then a somber tone,

maybe a tear.

 

It’s when we finally,

understand,

or we recognize we need to.

 

So often in our lives,

we pretend we haven’t any more time,

and yet,

look what happens years later,

we suddenly come to terms with mortality.

 

We are funny sometimes,

the way we protest,

create a mountain out of

a simple phrase,

then afterward, we cry.

 

And the beat goes on …


Deceptive Isolation


Have you ever really looked,

studied expression beyond a comment,

the quiet afterward,

if you could be inside that bubble,

how soon would despondency return.

 

I’m asking a question,

I already know the answer,

because it always returns,

despite my effort to want to move forward,

it’s the questions, the unknown,

the desire to feel wanted,

and then everything goes to hell.

 

Have you ever wondered if a person’s frame of mind,

is solely built upon interaction,

what if you put them in the words,

with an assurance of human isolation,

how long would they last before they decided,

nature might be the best solution.

 

Next time you wonder,

take a moment,

realize your impact is far greater,

than you might quietly ever imagine,

in the space of your own reasoning.


When Driven By Words


Have we been replaced?

the crumpled being in the corner mumbled,

to a jury of peers

who in quiet realize,

believe they will never allow themselves …

 

Yet his clothes are shabby,

the same pinstripe with a Jerry Garcia tie

pink button down oxford, and well-shined shoes,

he possessed years earlier,

during that last summit,

the day he resigned from today’s society.

 

Still, no one wonders where he is,

why he became,

how a life can turn beyond,

the normalcy of the human condition.

The new normal some might argue,

he might argue,

she might not care anymore,

given all the energy she spent defending

a frame of mind,

he no longer understood, or chose to wonder …

 

The idealism in surprise,

the beauty of spontaneity,

the sacrifice of one’s own belief system,

in order to complement

The Man.

We are all too easily duped

by pretty sights,

and warm surroundings,

to such a degree of departure,

we sometimes do forget …

 

the crumpled man in soft murmurs.


Writing to Fill an Empty Heart


I struggle with words,

they seem to carry on a certain storyline,

one I can never really grasp,

until the print allows my eyes to remember,

the swimming in motion ends

when it becomes the right time to let go.

 

I’d like to find the imagery in pain,

is it the steel edge cutting into a red ribbon,

where eyes might watch the soul slip away

in steady stream

no more hesitation,

a quiet, soothing, not so eternal release.

 

A friend of mine once said to me,

it is true we live our lives a very short time,

so in that span of countless hours,

we might remember love,

for it is that spiritual energy allows our smile,

if only for a brief instant,

to give us hope, a meaning and reason to survive.

 

I know that sometimes words might convey meaning,

but if it isn’t felt then they do become

only a semantic journey filled with imagery and pause.


A Wish to Disappear


Oh it’s true, not simply a mockery

we often appear to be more cagey

 

I’ve carried the wounds of childhood,

in order to find comfort in that I would.

 

This life I lead is sometimes a travesty

I hurt people to benefit me, simplicity.

 

A long time ago, she seemed to agree

yet still today I haven’t a place to be.

 

I live in a bubble some might decide

if pierced life would surely need subside.

 

Yet, somehow I maintain an integrity

one that surely lives on in subtlety.

 

She is the maker of my dreams I swoon

though it is me shatters imagery too soon.

 

I wonder about this state of mind tonight

is it really all that matters or that might.

 

I can feel my body is resolute with despair

I cannot move from this place to there.

 

I wish that I could feel a sense of response

to rather know the pain than cause a ponce

 

I’m a quiet man inside my lonely mind

there’s far too much memory to remind.

 

I hope that time might heal the pain I cause

for as much as time for me does give pause.

 

I love to know that my life here does exist

for the need to disappear I then might resist.