How Many Poets Have Died?

Have you ever wondered,

was it really a …

did the traffic suddenly change

was the fall

timed in such a way

that every factor

mattered,

that all the t’s were crossed.

 

Because isn’t that what we’re left with …

figuring out why

understanding there isĀ  a reason

and this was meant to

help to

clarify.

 

Or is just jealousy,

she figured it out first.

I think her name was

Laura Aschenbrenner,

somehow it stays with me,

the clothing line in her back yard,

with he lifeless body hanging,

waiting,

wanting nothing more,

having decided this would be the answer

to everything she could possibly

ever wish for in the

rest of her life,

the last ten minutes before

she could breathe no more.

 

I’m sitting here writing about

killing myself,

I’m already the hero,

the delusional martyr,

the one that calls himself

morose,

but without the attraction

of the gorgeous girl down the street

who seemed to be the only one whom understood,

the only one who cared,

the only remaining factor

keeping this writer alive.

 

But who really gives a shit,

the gravedigger,

thankful for the job,

the composer who wrote their music

years ago with a completely different

outcome in mind.

Who is the winner, when there will be so much lost.

 

On who?