I look around the room
and see the set of a
Carly Simon song,
except
my dad is missing in the corner,
cigarette long extinguished,
(actually my mom was there)
and yet I can’t help thinking,
is this the life I chose,
everything well manicured,
enough to have the neighbors
or our cousins,
or maybe siblings over for dinner.
The yard work, seems so real,
all the edges pruned,
the landscape accentuates the flowerbeds,
the trees are naturally,
‘blowin’ in the wind’
so this world
this economy
this facade
all seems right
in the eyes of the beholder.
My shutters are pulled today,
I can see a sunny afternoon trying to peek through,
yet, I know on the other side,
there are empty bird-feeders,
their image
will be a reminder,
of the blank stairs in my life.
I’m forgetting how to walk,
so sedentary
on a beautiful summer day,
there are needs,
there are desires,
there is a dog asleep at my foot,
she is quite settling I must admit.
My life,
sitting down
trying to make sense of it all,
tying to in the quiet
fill this vacancy
I know is there,
the eyes,
the separation of society,
I know the only people really looking
are those I’ll never see again,
when the ones I want
so close,
so nearby,
may only be found in
pleasant summer nights,
dreams,
the travel of my psyche
when at the end of an evening,
my body,
such physicality
won’t allow me to remain,
just sitting,
thinking,
wandering in my mind,
wishing,
I might have some idyllic life
waiting
beyond the shadowed
contemporary layout
of this
my
unsettling …
© ScottFSavage 2019
