my mother would reference this place,
a sort of mental ravine,
her heart might nearly stop,
eyes would glaze?
blood flow in her feigns might suddenly,
spill into one pool of spun lethargy.
This was not a place
she liked to be,
she’d often howl at the nature
of love and all it’s failings.
yet, she never discovered a solution?
only knew when inside?
not a lesser degree of pain
could ever exist.
where my mother was always never to pull the plug,
I might decide otherwise,
though my freedom would be sought?
there leaves a ring of memory,
clinging to everyone’s personal psyche.
I won’t reach out again,
to find more misery,
the hours have dragged with ideals
none of which belong here tonight,
only soft, passive, realities of time.
We did find humor in our caprice,
then lost all imagination when slow
the world began to change,
I should have known the signs,
they’re typical with cliches abound.
What happens when a dream declines,
the atmosphere of weak reason
overtakes our simple design.
when then we wait to know the end,
when then we wait to know the end.
settles my mind,
when I can know the feeling remains.
suggest an opportunity
the anxiety blows me,
that literal need is always knocking
when I’m alone,
when time stands still and hours fly by,
I wonder if anyone knew
would they …
is it me.
Am I the solution to my need,
seems to be a sort of shallow satisfaction,
yet when is it that
finds an eventual happy medium.
There’s a reason I haven’t sought out
I suppose it’s some moral conviction,
a desire to maintain my integrity
in the midst of a pool of wanton sensuality.
Find her at home,
is my friend’s lament,
I already know this,
I just wonder if she ever will.
(this song is fitting for a strong woman)
We shared a smoke,
while educating ourselves,
in the cold, we would laugh,
ash our cigarettes only when we were
I thought you to be elegant,
in your manner, your poise,
the freedom of your beauty.
I didn’t know anything about him,
and I never asked,
now today twenty years later I wish I had.
I remember noticing,
while glancing at your beautiful hair,
wonderful legs made me wish for summer,
summer dresses again,
and then I noticed your hands,
a slight tremor,
matched the anxiety that seemed to appear
occasionally in your eyes.
Who would know that a pause in class,
shared intellectual desires,
a banter of trusting souls,
would suddenly be taken away,
because he was afraid,
he took you away; all we could do
I just hope you didn’t suffer
the tremors should have been enough,
to ask her to tell me more …
decades later, sweet Mary Jane,
this is a really good cry
What is our perfection I wonder when nightfall
steals my waking eyes alone.
when travel takes me toward a myriad of moment
all designed to perhaps define.
The visions create their beauty with some sensuous
telling of life as it may become.
A familiar face strolls into the light to suggest all too
easily how our necessary needs
suddenly begin to unravel without any explanation
except to say, hello this is you.
Then begins the horrific nature of our internal fear,
playing to my measured insecurity.
With me and away, standing nearby yet distant
without explanation I stand lost
Hoping to understand you suddenly leave me again,
the later chapter has me blind.
I’ll now watch as together we unravel our lives
my efforts seamless, always long
forgotten yet within the same longing my desire
wishes to only understand, to know.
Yet the answers to your departure, my abandonment
will always pain me, chasing rainbows.
Carried away bare my soul
a simple treasure left whole,
one might wonder just why
whisper inside this lonely cry.
Sans a tear instead a mild
glare upon short-lived, wild.
Weep skin to be so devoured
while treasures lost I cowered
now amidst perfumes behind,
breeze drawn motions unwind.
Held upon thrashing limb
quiet release is lust’s whim,
naked I stood to feel loved
when slapped then by gloved
humanity without restoration,
only shallow, meek adulation.
When now blue is just allowed;
Wake, my nudity, now a shroud.
That first night you are away is terrifying
knowing I can’t be in your arms,
last night sweet remedy to lost optimism
far more than simple pleasure
you gave me your world with blue eyes
shining wise in moonlit serenade.
When skin traced skin together in unison
what we felt inside our lives
Could be described as staid romantic
yet the after-glow remains
the memory I hang onto this morning
knowing you’ve gone away.
You do have a certain power over me
wonder what’s in your mind
when you smile in my eyes, I’m crying
knowing you might decide
today will be the day I will not return
leaving him alone again.
I wonder sometimes if we regard the same
when left to our own
we forget that beauty far greater in mind
than that physicality
draws us together in such heated passion,
until our eyes in a fog,
look with certain grace upon each other’s want,
imagining only that illusion.
Last night, when I looked in your eyes to breathe,
I knew you’d already left.
*gif found on tumblr