This element of truth forgotten
bring me to my knees
and wonder why
I wish to die.
Well not in the biblical manner
or spiritual, perhaps passionate,
yet every turn I make
I continue to wonder why,
I have to sleep now for an eternity
for I fall victim to the reality of my dreams.
A fear of being found,
the fraudulent nature of a human being
trying in desperation
to understand motive.
When will we wonder
beyond a basic understanding
our lives do sometime matter
beyond the fearful discovery
that time we cannot seem to forget,
the last moment in our lives,
when just afterward
we swore to ourselves to regret.
Once a woman told me
‘I love you’
I was stunned and happy
and relieved all in one breath.
When I sleep at night
I dream of you
and I recall the stunning nature
of your energy enveloping me.
There was this love,
our eyes spoke of it often,
when we allowed,
when knowing the truth.
Follow me with certain joy
as now knowing you I search
my soul.
© Scott F Savage 7/2020
I wish words would not
compel my twisting remind
all my verbs are knots
There are two sides
too much
we easily fall into
patterns of want
when wishing to be.
We might be instructed,
perhaps a punitive gesture,
where heartbreak is far easier
than finding love,
knowing we did once.
I did,
I believed in purpose
I wanted to try,
to convince, to understand
I wanted to be
in love.
© Scott F Savage 4/2020
the ‘b’ series
If I could
step away and forget
I would choose
to be alone,
to mask my feelings,
so my everyday,
would not fall into the trappings
of woe.
I listen to the quiet
beat of jazz,
I think of smokey rooms,
and scary eyes,
there’s a woman in there,
who everyone knows,
yet she struggles
to understand herself,
feeling invisible
every turn.
I wonder if
I will
ever really know
when the time has come
for me to step away,
let go,
let the universe
take me some other way,
instead,
I wait by the side of the road,
watch the cars roll by,
no one I know,
I’m the one, now,
invisible.
Living in this fantasy,
while outside,
the world became real,
now we did
touch each other’s soul.
What does it mean,
this, love,
what is the truth
behind the pain.
What happens when our bodies
convulse in shadowed tears,
at the point
where everyone else
doesn’t matter at all …
except her.
I stood there again,
on the precipice,
glancing into the wind,
I saw her outline,
her smile,
her eyes,
telling me it will be ok,
leave the mask off she said,
there is far more beauty in
real.
© Scott F Savage 3/2020
I was wondering if you might know
the power of words will always slow
a beating heart in a feverish state
a wandering soul can only relate.
Last night I found peace in decision
to walk away, find my solution
I felt strong and self – confident
believing she would not relent.
I took measures of a reach forward
recognized a loss in my own accord,
I only wanted to hear a sweet word
I felt self-image to now be absurd.
In silence I broke down and cried,
show self-will my world surely died.
© Scott F Savage 3/2020
I was going through some difficult times,
trying to hang on to whatever it was I could.
You know how we can be as human beings,
thoughtful, compassionate and lost in eyes.
Sorting through my belongings, making change
when suddenly she did reappear in a manner,
I couldn’t help but shed a tear,
if I could recreate this lovely time of year.
I drove away listening to her years ago,
wished I hadn’t created such a precedent
to be right, to be known, to suggest
my world was more important than her own.
My regrets are forever, but a song, a melody
will remind me always, she may still understand.
© Scott F Savage 3/2020
I can feel the silence around me
a steady wind outside whistles free
well beyond my state of mind
life’s normalcy sweet remind.
The world in a panic a lonely
refuge becomes a challenge ably
fought by one with strength –
lead beyond any sorrow’s length
I want a silence I can feel
not a mandate in reveal
I feel my peace is a weep
lost in fallow might I leap
Real tears as I do find words
mark my sadness so absurd.
© Scott F. Savage 3/2020
I really am,
created this world,
though now,
surviving with little chance to
ever explain
such is the life of deception.
I walked inside a fantasy
many years ago,
at least
that was defined years
later
when in the heat of the moment,
reality became an ignorance,
I could not possibly
overcome.
Now only tears,
in a silence
I might never imagine,
time turns to weeks,
perhaps I expect months ahead.
The irony of our lives,
one might never realize
my aching heart will never miss the one
she’d expect,
instead the pain of loss,
of a quiet
in a helpless response,
hurts to the core,
hurting
becomes a way of life.
I look for you, only in the moment,
every moment that occurs,
every walk,
each time my heart responds
to wondering
just where you might be,
I wish to hold you close to me,
give you confidence
my love for you isn’t chance,
still real,
still surreal in its manner
of beauty in the moment of your
Grace,
a part of life I imagine
only between you and me.
I wish I could have the opportunity,
I don’t miss any aspect of trauma,
beyond only you,
I hope you might someday,
understand
your impact
is my own life driving desire
to know
to reflect
to love,
again.
 | a quiet man on For This Happened |
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A Collaborative Mental Health Blog
A little bit of me, with a little bit of you. A little of the old mixed with the new. A little too loud, a little too shy. A little grounded and a little high. A little bit of sad and a little bit of laugh. A little bit of evrything i carry in my heart. This is my blog that highlights other works, for my poems and musings please follow me on http://myshellecongeries.wordpress.com/
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