When We Imagine Death

Oh we fantasize,

the quiet, the sleep, the no longer

active duty

of being on the same page

 

When we imagine,

we often paint a pretty picture

because in our mind

anything is better than this,

we have forgotten everything.

 

When we allow ourselves

to go into the murky waters of

self-destruction,

we purposely ignore

the beauty around us.

 

I wonder why it is

that when I would rather be

asleep,

i do forget the beautiful faces

surround me every day

 

I suppose it is because

they are beautiful aren’t they

and yet,

their soul, their heart,

that passionate embrace

 

That piece of their lives

is meant for someone else,

and mine,

my mystique my muse my lover

is beyond my reach

 

So then I believe

that is what it is

the final response

to knowing we cannot achieve

the peace we know,

 

So instead we imagine death,

for in its absolute,

we can now begin to relax

stop trying to reach …

Feeling Not Safe

when well enough becomes

a lie

coverup

lika an old television drama

doc walks in

he smiles

everyone looks around the room

reassurances

yet suddenly he

the doc

notices something outside

the window

– an opportunity –

to sidetrack the meaning.

Doc says outloud

everyone can hear.

 

the landscape has begun to change.

sad really, your life is no longer your own.

the Doc glances back at all the people

in the room … waiting on his answer.

 

suddenly little Jimmy and Alice look at each other,

his beautiful smile has become all of our pain.

 

~ finding my way, a personal journey ~

to Z with all of my love

A Contemplative State of Mind

I wish it could be happy,

wish I might show you a picture,

wish every day would be the same,

but I discovered it isn’t that way.

 

I’m told tonight it never was,

all of the imagined fantasy,

the moments of unbridled passion,

were simply a facade, hypocrisy.

 

I’m standing alone tonight,

afraid of everyone around me.

I let myself take a journey,

and found the bitter end.

 

Oh to know the magic of happiness

to be able to shed delight

upon every soul our lives encounter

rather the wrath of personal woe.

 

The expression I carry tonight,

this one, you are imagining,

it is the truth,

my own realization of what once …

 

what is, what was, what could

forever be this final dignity.


~ finding my way, a personal journey ~